Fair to my feelings right this moment

To be fair to my feelings right now, I just had a conversation with my mother and brother. My father was still at work. To start this blogging, the main point is my mother and father are going to get a divorce soon I guess. This has gone on for 4 years since I was in secondary one when my mother told me that she was going to get a divorce after the end of my O levels examination. Finally, after 4 years, which came so fast, it is time.

Firstly, I had to choose between whether to go with my father or with my mother if there was a fight for custody. After 4 years of my life, I chose my dad all the way. Why you might ask? Usually in reports, they say the kids would stick to the mother. However, in my case, I choose my dad. Reasons that I thought about: assurance, reliability, money, finance, future life, how my mother thinks about her future, my mother is putting too much pressure on my brother - it pains me to see him like this. I just wish this would end soon as my brother would get hurt the most if this drags on. I don't know what to do to help him in this situation but I will support and respect whatever my brother does and says as if I don't support him now, who will?

Secondly, I thought about it very clearly. There is a small possibility that my mother will get the child custody. I really hope that does not happen. I am scared and would do my very best to fight for my rights and beliefs. I would make a speech and appeal and whatever. I want to stay with my dad. If only my mother would think about her future and how to do about it and how to get a job, I would consider siding with her. (Quite impossible if she does not change her mindset, attitude and most importantly, mother's pride) 

Thirdly, when my brother told my mother that he would stay with me and take care of me no matter what decision I make even though I'm 17 years old, I felt so assured and happy. I felt so glad and heaved a sigh of relief now that I know his answer. I love him. That is why when he asked me how would I describe my relationship with him a year ago for his project- Excellent, Very Good, Good, Poor & Very Poor. I said VERY GOOD. [As we fight sometimes too :) ] But when he asked me how would I describe my relationship with my mother. I said Good. (sometimes its good sometimes its bad).